Sex Is Messy. Don’t Worry About It.

From a sex basics article for “guy virgins” about the practicalities of sex you don’t learn by reading, or by watching porn:

Messiness

You probably know this already, but overall sex is messier than what you see on TV or in porn.

* You’re going to get hot and sweaty of course.
* The woman’s lubrication is going to dribble all over the place and possibly stain the sheets. Someone is going to get semen on them at some point. Condom wrappers are going to litter the ground. You may kiss passionately and slobber all over each other.
* Sometimes when you’re doing a girl she’ll fart. I heard it has something to do with the thrusting pushing air into her abdomen but don’t quote me.
* Sometimes when you pull out and she changes positions she’ll fart out her pussy (queefing).
* If you have sex when she’s on her period, well use your imagination.
* If you have anal sex you may get some poo on your dick.
* If you have a good session, when you’re done you’re going to be sweaty, red faced, tired, and a bit out of it. Your hair will be messed up, gross stray hairs will be stuck to your skin, the girl will have a bit of white goop running out of her cootch. You’ll have a bit of cum dribbling out of your dick. There will be at least one condom wrapper on the floor, the sheets and pillows will be all over the place, and the bed will have a wet spot on it. If you cuddle after you’ll start to stick together and it’ll feel gross when you pull apart. It’s great.

Hahaha.